My Story - Part 2
82 Inspired Commentsand Day 7 of the 12 Days of Textures
Plus a peek inside my white room.....
Click HERE to read part 1 of my story.
As I sit here....I am thinking where do I begin... my part 2 .... ?
the.... 'things do get better'.... part of my story.
The story bits are a little blurry.... But yet I can pick out the main events and know that one thing happened for the sake of the next....and so on.
(I have to tell you.... piecing this together has been kinda hard......I've been working away at it over several days.... I hope you can follow along.....)
That dreadful night...the night of the phone call...the night that our world came crashing down.... was an end.....and it was also a beginning. It alone is a story to be told.... an incredible series of God-Guided steps....one thing happening in order for the next......
It truly amazes me when I look back on it all. It would have taken only one move to change the entire course. But it was like we were characters in a screen play....staying on script....but when it was over....
I felt no awe.... I felt no gratitude..... I felt loss, sadness, disappointment.....and I felt many dreams dying!
That night lead to deep sadness.... my heart ached for my son, for our family..... We had to face his mistake.....He had to live with it. But little by little we made it through.
I would love to say it was one big transforming moment for our boy. But it really wasn't like that. It was eventual....slow.... and for me it was frustrating....really really frustrating. I wanted it to be something like you see on television....where the character wakes up and goes forth to change his life.....
Nope.... not like TV at all!!
As awful as that night was...it had to happen. I know that now.... and I am thankful for it.
But, let's move forward..... from that night.... shall we?
thank you for the beautiful scarf, Meike...xo
My creativity started to flow........and flow and flow...... I suppose it had been locked up for so long....it just needed to get loose....and free......Pour on out of me.... Perhaps I was releasing all that built up pain and sadness through my art.
I started painting again.... and I felt a pull to try new things.... I could not seem to paint the way I used to.... No more signs and folk art..... I discovered the world of mixed media and tried my hand at it...loved it...... But my publisher was not feeling it at all. They wanted me to continue making the art I had been making....but I wanted to grow and evolve.
In fact I couldn't make my old art....it just wouldn't come out.
Looking back....I know it was all part of the greater plan. If they had embraced my 'new art'.... I would not have found my camera.....
So thank you publisher.... thank you for saying no.....
Photography makes me feel complete. It feels right and real...and it feels like a part of me. I always loved to paint....but it never 'fit' like photography....
As they say....when one door closes...... 'sigh'
OH my... another door opens that is so much bigger and better and richer ......
My creativity was back.... our family was healing.... things were looking up! But, the past few years had taken their toll on us financially.... we were holding on tight.....
I needed to start rebuilding my business....or get a 'real job'(as some people like to say...)
I remember feeling very frustrated that I had to worry about money after all the turmoil we had already been through. It seemed so unfair!
I couldn't imagine not making ART...... An artist must make ART....
I had worked so damned hard to build a business... We had made it... I had paid my dues...(i thought)....But, the royalties were dwindling.... mix that with the economic decline...and it was bad!
I remember sitting here, in my studio....tears flowing..... and feeling terribly desperate...... I'm sure you know the feeling.... like, I can't do another day of this... I just can't! But I did.... we did....day by day.... little miracles kept allowing us to hang on....
'sigh'
So day after day I made art.... I shared on my blog.... I researched... I tried new things....
One day it hit me..... 'Kim, you have to stop focusing on the lack.......and focus on your blessings...and abundance.....start giving...sharing.... like you have more than enough to go around.'
I believe that shift was a turning point for me. My heart found gratitude..... which healed the anger and resentment...and hurt.... and the more I gave...the more grateful I felt.....
Somewhere amongst all the other stuff going on, sometime before that night......... I realized that if I wanted to keep making art, I needed to learn how to use photoshop. Many artists were going digital. But I just couldn't get into it.... Just opening the program overwhelmed me. I could not believe I had spent $600 on a program that was just sitting there.....what a waste.....
The whole blogging thing, made me much more interested in photography though. It seemed the most fabulous blogs had the best pictures. Up until then I was using my camera on auto to snap photos for my publisher. Now I was taking photos to share on my site. I knew they needed help. But I wasn't sure where to begin.
One day, I took my camera to the trail... I came home, uploaded the photos....and then ventured into photoshop. I decided to add a texture to a simple tree image...... and fell in love. I fell in love with the photos.....and the process.... It was like making art...right there on my screen. My direction changed that day. I may not have known it at the time...but it changed.
I started learning my camera....and I started to really use photoshop. (finally I was putting that scary and very expensive program to use)....
I tried a texture, than another...and another..... I remember posting my photos on flickr and being so excited when I went back and found comments on my pictures....and oh my gosh... Shutter Sisters choose one of my photos as the daily click.... And that is were my Shutter Sister Love began.
So I started to make art, with my photography and began sharing that on my site.
Somewhere along the way, I discovered the crazy awesome world of online classes..... I discovered the Mondo Beyondo eCourse. But there was no way I could afford to sign up!!I wanted to ....so bad...
Then one evening in December... I was just about to call it a night.... I jumped onto twitter.... someone had posted a link to a give away at Design Mom...for a spot in the Mondo Beyondo class!! I zipped over, entered a heart-felt comment.... and guess what.....I won... out of 500 plus people I won!!
Another life changing event..... in the series of it all....
My plans were in motion.... I was going to do something with my photography. I just knew it! We just had to make it through. And somehow...we did. Little gifts kept coming....to allow us to hang in there.
In 2010, I choose 'soar' as my one little word. And, soar I did.
I started the Mondo Beyondo class in January..... It changed my life.
I made a Mondo Beyondo dream list.....and so many of those dreams have come true. I've since updated my Mondo Beyondo list with even bigger dreams.
I started teaching photoshop classes, and making and selling my textures. I just STARTED. I didn't have the luxury of waiting for the perfect time to begin, or waiting til I was ready. I had to START. Right there, where I was.
People began buying my textures, signing up for my classes and visiting my site. It was amazing.
There were many things on that first Mondo Beyondo list.... But I have to share one BIG one....
Remember I said I had fallen for Shutter Sisters.... I had also discovered Tracey Clark. I was in awe of her talent...and presence....her totally awesome everything. I had never spoken to her via comments, or postings...or email, but I loved her. I wrote on my mondo beyondo list:
Collaborate with Tracey Clark, .....those were the exact words....
And one year later... as I sat here on a Saturday night...in January 2011, my email beeped....I almost fell off my chair... the sender name was
Tracey Clark.....and thru a series of emails.... we agreed that I would be the newest Shutter Sister Contributor.
Seriously... I can't tell you how BIG that was!
And it's because of that amazing Mondo Beyond dream, I traveled to California... I found the most incredible people who totally get me....I discovered dreams I didn't even know I had.... 'sigh'
My business blossomed. My beautiful readers not only helped me buy an iMac, they helped saved Ben's life. I mean can you imagine....??
There are so many things I could share....... but these are the 'main events'..... one thing leading to another and to another...
I realize now... I was exactly where i was supposed to be at each moment..... and each moment lead me to this moment....
you know?
I now, make an awesome living teaching my classes and selling my textures. I get to make art, share art.... and connect with all of you....It really is a dream.
The future has a whole series of bigger things ahead... pinch me things.... seriously, for real? things.... Umm, yes please!! I will totally do that! and that...and that... and Thank you God... I am truly blessed.
What I know for sure...... I am exactly where I am supposed to be......right here...right now.... it's all a part of my journey..... and for that I am most thankful!
a Set of 3 Magic Textures to Try
Remember....the trick with the magic textures.... Screen Blend mode... :)
Click HERE to download today's set.
xo,
Reader Comments (82)
Thank you.
It is so inspiring to read from you about some trials in your life and how you overcame those disappointments and fears, and found a path to create a new purpose in your life. Thank you for sharing because I truly believe your story and encouraging words have a purpose to speak to those readers who are in desperate need of some encouragement in a similar situation.... to know there is hope and better things to come!
Thank you so much for all the free textures and tutorials you generously give to us fans! I have learned so much from you and I am grateful I came upon your blog!
Continued blessings to you!
I bought so many different things early on through your offerings, and just now this Christmas am receiving my first Photoshop Elements program, so that hopefully now I will be able to learn some great techniques and use some of the fabulous stuff you have created these past few years. :) I even had signed up for the Test Kitchen site and didn't use it even, so I am looking forward to your now free online class you are starting on January 9th. Hoping to get going for 2012 and really do this. Thank you for your generosity through out the last couple of years that I've interfaced with your site.
Gretchen Schaumann
Your works are incredible!!
Wish you and your family all the best in New 2012!!
With love, Tatiana
Sounds like you've gone through some very difficult emotional times, which take all the wind out of your sails. I'm so glad you persevered. You are hear and have been such an inspiration to many people.
God bless you and all the best,
Laurie
Lovely home Kim. I just love the ceilings & white room you have.
Warm regards,
Karla
It is encouraging for me as someone who finished art school and then felt that life got in the way of me making art. I started to believe I would never have a studio, never have time to make art... when I have always known that is what I was made to do!
But I completely understand, and can relate to the feeling, when you look back at all these crazy events in your life, and all the different directions you went in (which at times seemed direction-less)... somehow they all led you to where you are now, and exactly where you are meant to be.
I see now how my whole life has been well planned for me, and beautifully guided. It has led me across continents, away from my home in Canada that I miss dearly and through hardship,
to find the person I was meant to spend forever with, and more importantly to find the me I was meant to be.
Your story has given me a new hope that my dreams are not so far off.
love,
tessa
You go on to say, "I had worked so damned hard to build a business... We had made it... I had paid my dues...(i thought)....But, the royalties were dwindling.... mix that with the economic decline...and it was bad!
YOU ARE ONE OF THE BRAVEST WOMAN I KNOW. Who puts this out there with such humility and truth?
I would of been scared TO DEATH saying something like this for the world to see, even though I have felt the same way over the years.
I don't want to write a book to you, but just let me say, GIRL, GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS I have just enrolled in Mondo Beyondo Class for January:)
Merry Christmas,
Laurie
Thanks a lot for those textures.
I feel blessed today in many ways...for my friend Diana who introduced me to your site, for the gust of wind you've provided under my photographic wings and for your tender, honest sharing of your beautiful life story. I can relate in so many ways to the struggles of your personal and creative journey. It is a wonderful testament to your faith. I, too, believe that God leads us through what seems like the impossible and unsurmountable to bring us to our fullest light and potential. You are so fabulously talented. I hope have the means to soon purchase all of your textures and take some of your classes, too.
Continue to be blessed!
Cheri
m x
I am so relating to your story right now. I got my first camera in November 2010 as a gift. Everyone thought it would be another one of my creative journeys that would fizzle out within a year. I LOVE it! It's like I have to take pictures just as much as I have to breathe. Once I took that first picture, it was like my whole world was in a frame. (people don't get get that.) Yet now, I'm finding myself in a "rut". I still have my camera with me always! I still have to take the pictures. . . . and I find myself not doing much with them. Which is why I say I think I've lost my "mojo".
This post has given me hope. What is true is that I'm an RN. I work long hours on my feet all day. I have a family whom I seem to neglect when I'm in the thick of my creativity. I loose my balance on this tight rope. What I know is true, is that I'm a 100% kind of person. When I'm into something I'm REALLY into it! Your story has sparked something in me, maybe rekindled what was already there. That little fire that I snuffed out by the hustle and bustle of life.
Thank you for telling your story. For being honest, and real, and exposed. It has touched my soul! It has brought me hope! It has made me want to let loose of all the ideas that stay jumbled up in my head and let them out. It has almost forced me to acknowledge that I am the only one holding me back. I will let it flow. . . . I WILL!
Dear Kim,
I have only known you for a short while, but I am so inspired and thankful that you fell into my life. I just had the opportunity to read your story and I greatly admire you for what you have done and how you have followed God's plan and let it unfold in your life. Each of us has our own story and I believe it is how we react to our own belief's that turns us around some day. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers and I believe you will continue to keep all of your clients, members of your Kitchen, in your prayers. Your wonderful expression of faith and love shine through all you do. Thank you for sharing.
A new member and friend, Mary Thomas/California
Now I totally understand WHY, you of all the people in the world COMMENTED on my comment of last night. Part 2 says it all to me.
God and the Angels are still in control.
Love Joan
Thank you.