My Story - Part 1
247 Inspired Commentsand your weekend texture.....
Remember the dream post I shared a few weeks ago? :) I told you that I was going to tell you 'my story' Well, I'm back with a tour of my studio and my story..... The studio ties in with my journey.... hopefully by the end of this post it will all come together.
And of course, I have a lovely little texture for you to try as well. Stay tuned.
Okay, so let's start at the beginning...in a fast forward kind of way.
I was born in Manitoba...Canada in 1968. I was the youngest in a family of 2... just me and my older brother. We lived in a few places before we settled in the town my Dad grew up in... and the town I live in today. (I was 12)
I was fortunate to grow up with good friends and a supportive family. My life, all in all was GOOD.
As a kid I always said I wanted to be a teacher and I secretly dreamt of being an artist. The funny part was, I never made art. But I could totally imagine being an artist. I remember feeling different, yet not sure why that was.
I met my husband John when I was 19 and I was married at 21. I had Brett 13 months later and Bryce 15 1/2 months after that. By the time I was 23 I was a mother of 2 boys. We moved into the house we still live in...and the house of my dreams in 1992.
It's pretty crazy....but growing up we lived just across the street and a few houses down from this old house...and I said, one day I would live here. Seriously, I really did!
So, when I saw this house come up for sale in the local paper I was determined that we come and take a look at it. The timing was brilliant. We were just about to buy a modular home. The deal was almost signed. Character homes, like like this old girl do not come up for sale very often. Anyhow, I walked in, fell instantly in love...turned to John and said, we have to buy this house! And that was that... it all worked out. Okay it wasn't nearly as simple as that....it took some major work to make it happen... But it did!! We moved in and 6 months later, John got his job at the hospital across the street from where we lived. The job we prayed he would get and the job that allowed me to quit my full time job and stay at home with the boys.
I tell you the house story, because to me it is all part of my journey to this very day. If it was not for this old house, I would not have started painting. It's also a perfect example of how stating your intentions can make things happen. I was a teenager who stated her intentions to a friend.... 'I am going to live in that house someday!'
I wanted to fill our antique home with old worn, primitive pieces.... But there was no money for decorating. Money was tight, to say the least. And so, I went out and bought a few brushes, some paint...a few surfaces....and started attempting to make my own pieces to fill our home. Thinking back to my first work... I could cringe... But, at the time, I thought it was beautiful.....
To make a long story short... my painting lead to a few craft fairs....to selling my signs on ebay....and then to a publisher who licensed my work.
And so I think you can see how this old house was a huge part of my journey...
So I painted and painted....I started working in our basement... but it was too dreary and damp. So I squished the boys into one bedroom and took over the spare room. I outgrew the spare room, and they outgrew sharing a room.... so I took over the dining room. And well, it was not pretty. And my mother was horrified... She's very neat and clean...and organized. Imagine our lovely old dining room table covered in drop cloths pine boards, paint, stain, rags.... etc.... I'm sure my Mom had a hard time visiting...... it was really quite terrible.
My parents had a little stash of money and they gifted it to me and my brother.... But mine came with another gift....
a gift of my dad's hands and time to build me my very own studio!! Woo hoo.... DREAM come true... BIG TIME!!
That gift was more than money and space...It was.... 'we believe in you.... now go....DO what you seem to have to do....and make your dreams come true!'
While I was working away at my art, I was also running a home daycare. I would look after kids in the day and make art after the boys went to bed...into the wee hours of the morning. It was hard, but so worth it.
The studio was the launch of my for-real business.... I don't think I would be here today, doing what I love if it weren't for that... Ya know?
Life progressed, the boys grew up. I was making art full time. Business was good! My art was on prints, giftware, wallpaper, calendars etc. Seriously, so fabulous! I was able to do what I love and I was getting paid well for it. Woo hoo! Finally, we were able to pay the bills and have a little room for extras. It was amazing. I remember walking Andy and thinking wow, I am so blessed. Thank you God!
And then......it all came crashing down.
Brett was 16 and Bryce was entering 15. They were good boys. Bryce was always very strong willed.....right from the beginning. But man oh man... the teen years hit him HARD. And so began the hardest experience of our lives. Bryce started to change. I knew he was struggling, but there seemed to be very little we could do or say to help him. He was lost and as much as I wanted to hold out my hands and bring him back, he just could not grab hold.
I will spare you the details, but let's just say it was the beginning of the longest and most difficult 2 1/2 years of my life. I lived, trapped in fear. It felt like I was always on the edge of my seat, waiting for the worst to happen. I felt scared and alone. I think that may be part of my issue with friendship. Let's just say, during that time, friendship really let me down.
And as hard as it was for me, it was nothing compared to the turmoil Bryce was in. My son was living in his own personal hell...and everyday he struggled to hold on.
3 years ago this coming May, all my fears and worries seemed to come true...in one phone call. It was after midnight when the phone rang....I knew it was going to be awful news. And it was. Thankfully no one was physically hurt. I can not share the details, it is Bryce's story to tell... but it was the beginning of a long lonely journey of recovery for us all. Let's just say, living in a tiny town, when someone you love makes some really bad choices is very lonely. People don't look at you. People don't call you...and people definitely judge you!
This was also the beginning of Bryce's new life. He had no choice, but to start over. As awful as it all was, it was part of his journey and our journey. And we survived. He survived and he made it through and is doing much better now.
During that two plus years I slowly quit painting. I had no desire to create.... I just sat a lot... in fear. In fact, I became a prisoner of that fear. It owned me! As much as all the worry and what if's changed nothing, fixed nothing... it was all I knew. It consumed me. My husband kept moving, working, living. Thankfully. But I just stopped. And sat and feared.... and asked why? over and over and over again... Why?
Fear robbed me of my creativity...and over time I quit working completely.That wonderful income that we had coming in, also started to fade away.
After that phone call in the middle of the night, I realized no matter, what life goes one. And one day, my camera called to me. I took it on the trail and my life changed. I felt as though I was reborn. Literally the art started to pour out of me. This time through my camera. Eventually I picked up the brushes again, but not to paint signs...instead to paint textures.
Okay I will leave you here...and share part 2 another day.....
It's the good part.... the dreamy part...the mondo beyondo... CRAZY.....BEYOND belief... AWESOME...somebody pinch me....are you serious? no way!! part!!!
And so how bout a texture to end the tale? I call this one music lovin'.... I think it's a 'gooder'....
Click HERE to download it.
Love & gratitude...always....
xo,
Reader Comments (247)
I bless you in your new life, and I'm glad you can share it all.
Best wishes, to you and your family.
Peace!
Also... I'm sorry friendship let you down.... my mother and godmother always told me that if you can count your true friends on one hand you are very lucky. It is the hard times that show you who is true. I have two who have stood by me in the worst times. I am lucky.
So much to say but can't. You do not walk alone Kim!
Thank you for sharing, I hope it was cathartic for you.
Hugs,
Lorraine
Our children are so precious and we only want the best for them. I am happy that Bryce survived his experience and that your family weathered the difficulties. Saying it in those words no way describes what you all experienced, but sometimes, words just aren't enough. Sending a virtual hug instead.
It takes most of us a hard time to really appreciate how valuable those dark threads in our life story matter. We get our own depth from them - as well as the beautiful texture that is so much richer than a flat even surface. Painful tho, huh? Yep, I've btdt and probably still will. But at least I can see the value of the dark side a little sooner - most of the time. :)
This took a lot of courage....to tell your story. I'm so very happy that things turned out well in the end and that your son is doing much better. It's funny how we think that once our kids leave home that we won't worry so much...boy were we wrong eh!
My second son has struggled with his life starting around the same age as your Bryce...I understand that feeling of waiting for something bad to happen. He's now 34....has a good job in Sask when he's not laid off but still lives life on the edge. Hopefully one day he will find the happiness he's looking for.
I LOVE your studio and what wonderful parents you have for helping you achieve your dream! I'm looking forward to reading part 2. I hope you have a wonderful week and thank you for the texture :)
Maura :)
"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
I wish I could give you a big hug, but I am so far away over here in Africa. Thank you for sharing your story. It's a story of hope & dreams. You inspire me so much.
Thanks for sharing - it will help so many people to hear your story. One of the parts that touched me was your refusal to tell your son's story because it was his. That kind of respect is so important. It shows such a strong integrity on your part. And it was sweet that your camera helped rescue you!
Life can be such a ride can't it !!
I can't wait to hear part 2 of your story :)
xoxo
Lori
God Bless
I appreciate so much you sharing your story with us all. I am so thankful that you had a lovely childhood and good parents! Yay for you! I love hearing how you said early in life "I am going to live in that house" and you did! I also love that you followed your artistic yearnings, even though you had never really made art! That is amazing to me, and how wonderful that you believed in yourself that much! Double Yay!
Your art space is stunning! You are uber talented!
Many blessings on you, your husband and both your sons.
Hugs,
Terri
- Brooke
xo
Sherry
I so admire your ability to achieve your dreams - house, your own successful business and now your textures (also a business) - and only wish I were 30 years younger to do it all again - my way! You inspire those who come to your site, as I do, on a regular basis and who are amazed and delighted at the wonderful textures you create and share so willingly.
A Canadian myself (Ontario), it is wonderful to see a fellow national making such a great mark for herself on the photography scene.
I love the inspirational sayings on the walls of your studio - and none of them religious which in itself is a breath of fresh air. So, to quote one of them: Keep Calm and Carry On! We love what you're doing and will never tire of seeing what's coming next.
I have a file full of your tutorials and textures that I have not had time to sit and devote myself to. The Kim K. file is for a time when life is not so full. I don't think there ever will be such a time. lol!
For some reason, with a cup of coffee, I sat down to read your post this morning and I am so happy I did. I am mother to five and step-mother to four. Three were boys which came with me. I know about boys. Husband was Federal Law Enforcement and one of the heads of it in our area. That puts a special burden on all the children. We had our little ups and downs, nothing too major and we feel very lucky. There was a day, though, that we, too got that dreaded phone call. All I can say is I was so glad my husband was home to handle it. He traveled with his job and often not home! I will always remember that time and the strain it put on the whole family. Like you, it turned out well and he is now a member of the Federal Law Enforcement family and has a beautiful family of his own.
I felt your sadness, the fear and the worry. I know, too, how it takes away all creativity, for a time!
Families are not always easy with all the different personalities and right now, even though ours are all grown there has been a horrible division that I do not understand and so I find myself back in that lonely place of sadness and lonliness. Isn't odd that those we think of as fast and true friends, when the chips are down are not?
May Many Blessings Find You!
Jil
Thank you for sharing with a good reminder that we never really know what's going on with friends unless we keep them close and are there to support in a non-judgmental way... that you got through it and used your creativity in a positive way has been a blessing to me as I follow you through your blog/Test Kitchen and generosity with your textures/tutorials... never forget we are all on our own journeys in this life... you have been an inspiration in mine... thank you again...
your story is very inspiring for me. i totally understand how you paralyzed in your fear. i'm so glad that you found the courage to take that first step and then continue taking those steps and allowing the healing to continue.
i'm glad to hear that everything turned out good for you and your family.
thanks for the actions you share with us. i found your site a while back, but was too intimidated to try my hand at PSE. i just started messing around with it and i'm loving it.
thanks again
This inspires me to post a story called 'The Tea Cup' on my blog. It is a very inspirational story about how we grow and become who we are through our life experiences. I hope some of you will come on over and read it.
Thank you!
This inspires me to post a story called 'The Tea Cup' on my blog. It is a very inspirational story about how we grow and become who we are through our life experiences. I hope some of you will come on over and read it.
Thank you!
Linda
http://lindakittmer.blogspot.com
Thanks very much to share it..